Almost to the end, folks. But before we finally recap the best (or, err, my favorites) of 2012, let's take a pit stop to discuss what are arguably the worst films of 2012. Now as always, I can't presume that I've seen every probable terrible movie out there (I generally avoid Adam Sandler comedies and didn't catch Parental Guidance in time), but I tried to highlight films that were both very bad and whose respective failures meant something more than just their artistic inadequacy. As always, the films below are in alphabetical order. So, without further ado, let's dive in!
To William Hurt in A History of Violence, "How to do you f*** that up?!" You have a long-running detective series filled with larger-than-life villains and often insanely over-the-top violence. You have Tyler Perry, if perhaps cast against type than at least hungry to prove that he can do something different. You have Matthew Fox theoretically willing to chew up every bit of available scenery. And you have audiences primed for a kind of old-school adult-skewing genre picture that the previous two Morgan Freeman-starring Alex Cross films (Kiss the Girls and Along Came A Spider) represented back in the 1990s. How in the world do you make this film this incredibly boring? First of all, you take an explicitly R-rated story and neuter it into a still-inappropriate PG-13. Then you pile on generic cliche on top of generic cliche. Then you instruct every actor other than Fox to be as lifeless as possible. Finally, you never decide to make a down-to-Earth crime thriller or a would-be superhero/super villain story. The end result is a painfully dull would-be thriller that can't hold a candle to the most average episode of Criminal Minds.