Because they are NOT gay! Why 'forcing' Bert and Ernie to get married would be a terrible blow for gay rights, and what it teaches us about homophobia.

There is at least one petition out right now with 5,000 signatures requesting that Sesame Street puppets Bert and Ernie get married.  You've probably read about it and maybe it seems like harmless amusement from people whose heart is in the right place in the realm of gay-marriage rights.  There is just one problem.  Bert and Ernie are not gay.  The producers of Sesame Street has said as much.  Since Bert and Ernie are fictional characters, said producers are the final word on such a subject.  Want to know how I know Dumbledore is gay, even though not one reference to his sexuality is made during all seven Harry Potter books?  Because JK Rowling told me as much.  She created the character and if she says he's gay, then he's gay.  And if the producers of Sesame Street say that Bert and Ernie are merely platonic friends living asexually in the same apartment, then one must accept them at their word.  Bert and Ernie are not gay, therefore there is little-to-no chance that they are in the kind of romantic relationship that brings about marriage, thus they should not be getting married.