Wednesday, May 11, 2011

The Expendables II gets generic poster, hilarious plot synopsis which reveals just who is 'expendable'.

The film doesn't even have a director (I hear Sophia Coppola is available), but it does have a release date: August 17th, 2012.  It now also has a poster and plot synopsis courtesy of Nu Image.  The poster pretty much speaks for itself.  But the plot synopsis is a spoiler-filled hoot.

“The Expendables are back and this time it’s personal! After Tool (Mickey Rourke), the heart and soul of the Expendables, is brutally murdered on a mission, his comrades swear to avenge him. They’re not the only ones who want blood. Tool’s beautiful young and wild daughter Fiona embarks on her own revenge mission, complicating matters when she is captured and ransomed by a ruthless dictator plotting to destroy a resistance movement. Now Barney and the Expendables must risk everything to save her and humanity.”

It does seem that Mr. Can't-Play-Well-With-Others is indeed being written out of the series, and it's the least surprising choice all-things considered.  It also works as a rebuttal to those who justifiably complained that a film called The Expendables didn't actually 'expend' any of its heroic mercenaries, even absurdly keeping Lundgren alive despite his apparent second-act demise (not saying I'm not glad that Dolph won't be around in part II, but...).  So, poor Rourke bites it in the opening act, but that's okay, because he's got a daughter who of course is "young",  "beautiful", and "wild".  But that doesn't mean  Fiona is "competent", as she also ends up spending (at least) the third act as a hostage.  The first film played into the whole 'macho he-men save helpless babe-in-peril' cliche, and alas the sequel seeks to play the same game.  But my favorite part of this plot summary is the final sentence, where we're told that the Expendables are not only trying to save 'insert hostage-babe here', but HUMANITY!  The first film merely concerned a fictional Latin American country that was being oppressed by a dictator (who in turn was being manipulated by a corporate villain), but the sequel puts the entire planet in peril.  Which leads me to ask, just who is this despot that threatens the entire world?  Will this be The Expendables versus. Darkseid?  The Expendables versus Cobra (no, not Stallone's Corba, the OTHER Cobra)?  Which world-threatening foes do you want to see our 80s/90s heroes facing off against in the sequel?  Oh wait... I got it!  The Expendables versus Dr. Claw!        

Scott Mendelson

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Does the entire world include Abbottabad?

Megan Fox as Mickey Rourke's daughter. No brainer. Will save her career.

Scott Mendelson said...

Considering they just played lovers in the god-awful Passion Play, I think that would be a deliciously creepy idea. Of course, the fact that they play lovers is a big part of what makes Passion Play so terrible.

http://scottalanmendelson.blogspot.com/2011/05/review-passion-play-2011.html

rick said...

"No, not Stallone's Corba, the OTHER Cobra)" I don't know, Stallone's Cobra is cancer inducing terrible, so watched in enough places, it could be a global danger.

As for the "save the chick" plot point, these are 80's action throwbacks, where female characters are good for saving and laying. Plus, there's always the possiblity that Stallone can't, you know, write a competent and bad ass female character

rick said...

"No, not Stallone's Corba, the OTHER Cobra)" I don't know, Stallone's Cobra is cancer inducing terrible, so watched in enough places, it could be a global danger.

As for the "save the chick" plot point, these are 80's action throwbacks, where female characters are good for saving and laying. Plus, there's always the possiblity that Stallone can't, you know, write a competent and bad ass female character

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