This is the end. Hold your breath and count to ten. After three months of extensive and rather superb retrospective reviews of every single 007 film that's been currently released since 1962, it all comes down to this. What follows below is Brandon Peter's final analysis, split up into two sections. Part one is HERE. Part two is a critical ranking of every single film, complete with links to his respective essays, so you can all argue in the comments section. Following that is my actual review of Skyfall, which I saw on Monday night was holding off on reviewing until Brandon had his say on all that had come before. Expect said review to drop later this afternoon. And yes, once Brandon sees Skyfall (hopefully in IMAX, as it really should be seen in said format), he will offer his take on this site as well. But for now, let's all dive in and see how the chips fall. As always, share your thoughts in the comments section below (for what it's worth, I rather agree with probably 90% of the rankings, at a glance). At the very least, you should give him a hearty thanks for crafting this rather fantastic ongoing series. We look forward to whatever Mr. Peters decides to contribute from this point on and look forward to his adventures in the Great Valley.
So, this is maybe the umpteenth time I've watched all these
films. Some not as many as the
others. Two them I visited for only the
2nd or 3rd time.
To end the retrospective, I've shuffled them in order of how much I was
entertained when watching said film.
So…how does it all stack up?
Let’s take a look.
22. OCTOPUSSY
I really had close to no enjoyment watching this one. It was extremely hokey and came across as
incredibly dumb and offensive. At times
almost painful. The things that were
memorable from this film are stuff you’d soon like to forget.
21. DIE ANOTHER DAY
This film starts out with so much promise and takes a steep
decline at about the 25 minute mark and just keeps plummeting. It’s a damn shame Pierce Brosnan had to go
out on this note. The film is a pretty
big embarrassment and the producers were right to move away from this direction.
Sean Connery doesn't want to be here, I don’t want to be
here either. There’s moments, but their
really few and really far between. The
film takes a dump right at the beginning on the previous and far superior
film. Blofeld absolutely stinks in this
one. Kidd and Wint are entertaining, but
don’t fit in this film. Confession: while
a pretty dumb character, I did find Jill St. John very charming.
Not entirely stupid or offensive (aside from the slide
whistle), but incredibly boring. As I
mentioned, I did fall asleep during this one.
But, congrats Man with the Golden Gun,
I really thought you were going to finish last before I started this.
18. DR. NO
WHAT? Bottom 5? Yes.
Aside from Connery’s performance (and I like Jack Lord here, too), the
film is kind of drags. It’s interesting
because it’s the first, and that’s why you watch it, but many a Bond film did
so much better. The sets are very nice
and Connery chews them up nicely, but there’s not a whole lot interesting going
on. The Bond girl is incredibly
overrated (ask a female what’s so amazing about Honey Rider) and useless and
our villain is a pretty big yawner.
17. A VIEW TO A KILL
More craziness from this guy! I was far more entertained by Christopher
Walken, Grace Jones and Patrick MacNee than I was any supporting characters in Dr. No.
While the film isn't all great, it does a decent job at being
entertaining. Having Dalton start in this film may have made it
exponentially better. The stunts and
effects would have benefited and that’s one of the big weak links in the
execution of this one. (side note: I do quite enjoy the trailer for this one or
maybe anything looks cool set to Duran Duran and Optimus Prime’s narration https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4qBORhEUKeM)
This isn't really a bad film, but in the series cannon it
comes across as rather stale and not a lot of fun. I highly enjoy the main Bond girl in this
one. However, the score is atrociously
bad and all the action beats feel incredibly recycled from the previous
films. On its own, it’s fine, but as a
piece of the series, I find it rather weak.
Up and down a solid entry.
The end is a bit of “seen this before”.
The film features two strong females, but a rather weak villain and
plot. The film’s finale doesn't bring
about anything special or memorable making it slightly disappointing. You could do far worse, but there is a lot
better.
14. GOLDFINGER
This was an eye opener.
I went in expecting this to be top five.
It has a rather engaging first hour.
Bond and Goldfinger’s mind games with each other is completely
entertaining. However, Bond gets
captured and does pretty much next to nothing the remainder of the film. It’s paced solidly, making it better than it
could have been. Sean Connery’s
performance seems a half step off in this one too. Oh yeah, and Bond rapes Pussy Galore, which somehow
leads to her defection from Auric Goldfinger.
If the film would have stayed true to character (Pussy Galore),
Goldfinger would have been able to execute his plan. I didn't have the extreme enjoyment I
remembered once having or thought I would have with this one.
13. LIVE AND LET DIE
Roger Moore’s debut is a rather enjoyable entry. However the end gets a bit bloated with long action
sequences that could have been spread throughout or axed completely. The demise of the villain travels into a
world of camp that feels awkwardly out of place in this adventure.
12. MOONRAKER
Too high for your liking?
Go and actually watch the film.
The first hour and a half of Moonraker
is an incredibly fun and dark adventure.
Michael Lonsdale proves to be one of the series greatest villains. Every line he utters is great. There’s a few goofy inserts here and there,
but nothing overtly distracting. The
last half hour in space isn't as good as the first ¾, but it’s not bad either
and the effects, while a little dated, do a decent job of holding up. Go back and give this one a shot, you’ll be
very surprised. If you enjoy The Spy Who Loved Me, there’s no reason
not to like this one.
Better than a lot of people claim it to be. I've done research to see what exactly it is
people don’t like. A lot of nitpicks and
seemingly stuff that went over people’s heads. I agree that the style isn't my
first choice, but it helps along some sequences and doesn't destroy the
film. It fits Bond’s overall attitude in
this film. Probably will be discovered
and appreciated over time. I may rank
this higher in the future, you never know.
10. THUNDERBALL
A nicely done stealthy spy thriller with some incredible
underwater work. The film runs a tad
long, but is much worth the trip. And
there’s nothing boring about looking at Claudine Auger. The film provides one of the most overlooked
villains in series history. I’m talking
about Fiona Volpe. She paves the way for
female femme fatales to appear later in the series. I’m fully engaged every time she lights up
the screen. Bond’s involvement in the
plot starts by a stretch of coincidence, but maybe they wanted to show that he
never truly takes time off and no matter the vacation, is always in spy mode.
Yes, I've heard about Denise Richards. Could you tell me about the rest of the
movie? Because it’s pretty good. Brosnan turns in one of his best performances
in a story that strikes personally for him and M. This one provides not only a pretty cool
story, but some great shootouts.
This one was the biggest shock for me. There’s a lot of silly, campy and dated
racey/sexist things in this film, but I found it to be so much fun. The film turns what could be a horrid gadget
(gyro-copter) into something bad ass. The
first hour of this is actually a top notch spy thriller. The second hour turns into an insanely crazy
over the top romp. While uneven, I had a
lot of fun with this one, and I hope others see it as well.
Had the middle 45 minutes of this film been much shorter or
better, this would be in contention for a top 3 Bond movie easily. However, its not and the section missing
Diana Rigg suffers without her. It’s a
very good film, but it does drag in the middle.
But on both sides of that middle its very good. It’s worth waiting around for the finish,
because it’s pretty great.
This one was one of the most unique films in the series
until Quantum of Solace. Time has become very kind to the Timothy
Dalton era. People are starting to come
around and see what they wanted from 007 was there all along. Robert Davi makes an incredible turn as a
dark and vile villain. It’s got some
great real physical stunt work to boot.
This isn't your typical Bond picture, but that’s what helps and makes it
stand out.
When you think of a quintessential “what is a Bond movie?”
film…this is it. It’s got all the over
the top action, the notable henchman, the maniacal villain, the gorgeous Bond
girl, the stunts, the opening wow sequence, a great song. It’s all there. This is some of the most fun you’ll ever have
watching a movie (well, maybe those of my era and older), let alone it just
being a Bond film.
Like I said in my article, this film is the series firing on
all cylinders. An espionage and escape
film akin to a From Russia With Love
style, but its own beast. Everything
just rocks about this one. Joe Don Baker
is kind of weak, and his character’s demise is a bit of whimper, but its fine. At
that point in the film we’re just trying to take it down and bring it to a
satisfying conclusion anyway. Dalton
turns in a great debut. Like the
follow-up, this one also features a lot of great and real looking stunt
work. The Dalton era is one of the most overlooked
aspects of the franchise as it contains two of its strongest and best
films. In some alternate universe,
there’s a 3rd Timothy Dalton James Bond adventure…I want to go
there.
3. GOLDENEYE
One of the best action films of the 90's period. This film manages to hit the marks on top
notch action, drama and performances.
Some slight dating when it comes to technology (but then again…every
Bond has that). This film goes by in a
flash and has the best Bond Vs Main Baddie fight and finish of the entire
series. I’d like to know of those who
leave GoldenEye unsatisfied. There can’t be many of you.
This film is damn near perfect. It’s the longest of the series, but never
once feels that way. Craig’s performance
is of the best of the entire 22 film oeuvre.
Even if this film was subpar, he, Eva Green and Mads Mikkelsen would
carry it and it’d be enjoyable. Never a
dull moment. Martin Campbell scores two of
the top three Bond films of all time. Please
come back, sir. We’ll forgive you for Green Lantern.
If the last film is “damn near perfect” how is it not
#1? This one just strike with me. It moves, it’s suspenseful, its got action,
and its got a very nice 60's aesthetic that I fancy. Connery gives a wonderful turn and we get
awesome villains and Bond’s best informant.
This film is just an absolute joy to watch. As a big fan of Hitchcock, this feels a bit
like a love letter to him and I appreciate that. With its length, I also will always have the
time to pop this one in and give it a view.
There’s a very engaging romanticism with viewing this one that is really
unmatched in any of the Bond films.
While the series spent most of its time trying to create the next Goldfinger, this is the film it should
have been taking its cues from.
And that’s it for me until Skyfall, folks. Still
fishing for ideas as to where to go next (please save me from The Land Before Time!). Did you enjoy the Bond series? What’s your top/bottom ten 007 films? Tell me where I’m wrong. Thanks for reading, it’s been a rewarding
experience hearing your thoughts, praise and opinions!
BRANDON PETERS WILL RETURN
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E-mail – naptownnerd@gmail.com
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7 comments:
It's a good thing we're friends now ;)
1. Goldfinger (easily for me)
2. The Spy Who Loved Me
3. From Russia With Love
4. GoldenEye
5. Casino Royale/Dr. No
Worst:
Octopussy, A View to a Kill, Diamonds are Forever, and yeah, I kind of have fun watching it, but Die another Day is pretty bad.
Best Bond: Connery (though I'm into what Moore brought in his best films). I holding off Craig until I see how Skyfall shows him as Bond and not the guy who became Bond.
Worst Bond: Hey Lazenby, how are you doing?
Best Bond Girl: Eva Green and Diana Rigg are both quite good, Famke Jansen and Isabella Scorupico (whatever) work for me quite well too.
Worst Bond Girl: Oh Rosie Carver, Oh Goodnight, Oh Jinx
Best Bond Villain: Blofeld is a classic, but Goldfinger has a better laser beam. La Chiffre has great conflict to his character. Robert Davi was pretty bad ass.
Worst Bond Villain: The forgettable ones (at least I know who Gustaf Graves is) and Diamonds' Blofeld
Best Henchmen: Jaws is awesome and scarier than people think. Red Grant
Worst Henchmen: I Am Mr. Kil. Knick Knack Paddy Wack
Unsung Hero of the Franchise - Desmond Llewelyn
As I've been saying, I've really enjoyed these write-ups, regardless of some disagreements.
Haha, thank you. And 4 of our top 5 are the same and 3 of the four worst you mentioned. And you and I seem to be the only ones ever mentioning Rose Carver. How can people not think of her...EVER? It was a real challenge to rank these and rank them with personal honesty. Looking forward to our 2 against 1 commentary (hopefully Scott doesn't get whisked away to a Bond 24 outline reading this time)
I am so happy the one film of this retrospective I got to join in on is deservedly ranked last...
I repeat...you jumped on top of a PLANE...what is the exit strategy here Bond??
I've been following this retrospective from the beginning, and I have to just give a huge congratulations to you for pulling it off with such aplomb! This was a hugely entertaining, revealing and insightful look into one of my (and many others) film series since childhood. If you ever have the time and/or inclination, please don't stop here. There are so many more films to analyze, and we'd be remiss without having you there to write about them.
Thank you for this Brandon. You had some great insight and I learned a lot more about the bond films.
I must say, for those of us that haven't seen all of them films, this is a great article to use as a reference for the best films to watch.
I really appreciate all the hard work and thoughtful consideration you put into this series. You made me want to go back and check out TSWLM; no mean feat there. Well done.
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