Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Brandon Peters's 007 series retrospective final analysis part 1.

This is the end.  Hold your breath and count to ten.  After three months of extensive and rather superb retrospective reviews of every single 007 film that's been currently released since 1962, it all comes down to this.  What follows below is Brandon Peter's final analysis, split up into two sections.  Part one, which deals with favorite characters, favorite villains, and the like, is below.  Part two, which is a critical ranking of every single film, will hopefully follow in the next couple days.  Following that is my actual review of Skyfall, which I saw on Monday night but am holding off writing about until Brandon finishes his series.  And yes, once Brandon sees Skyfall (hopefully in IMAX, as it really should be seen in said format), he will offer his take on this site as well.  But for now, let's start the end game for this epic 007 retrospective.  As always, share your thoughts in the comments section below.

Final Analysis Part 1:  Favorites/Least Favorites


1. Sean Connery (Kills – 66, Women 15)
When he’s on, he’s dynamite.  When he’s almost there, he’s still great.  In only one film is he totally checked out.  There’s definitely opportunity for Daniel Craig to surpass him.  Best performance:  Dr. No

2. Daniel Craig  (Kills – 29*, Women - 4*)
After five films we may be unanimously calling him the best Bond ever.   I wanted to put him at #1, but I didn't  because his run isn't over.  I thought two might have been too high, but we’ll see.  These are more so how I’m feeling after this current run of watching the series.  Best Performance:  Casino Royale

3. Pierce Brosnan (Kills – 81, Women – 10)
Right now, an underappreciated Bond, but hopefully people will go back and realize he made three good 007 pictures and gave a damn fine performance in four of them.  He never slouched and never looked like he didn’t want to be there.  Best Performance:  GoldenEye

4.  Timothy Dalton (Kills – 9, Women – 3)
Thought about putting him higher, but have always desired that nonexistent third Timothy Dalton outing.  It’d really be telling if we could have seen just one more.  But, hey, leave the audience wanting more, right?  Best Performance:  License To Kill

5.  Roger Moore (Kills – 74, Women – 19)
I know I know.  I’ve sat here defending this guy’s work and here he is at the bottom.  That’s not a bad thing, just where I see him as James Bond.  He’s better than people think, but I can’t put him above any of the previous four.  Best Performance:  The Spy Who Loved Me

6.  George Lazenby (Kills – 14, Women – 3)
He wasn’t very good.  He was carried along by his leading lady and a strong script.  He was dubbed over for a good 45 minutes of the film.  He’s watchable, but clearly many steps down from his cohorts.  Best Performance:  On Her Majesty’s Secret Service (by default)

*and counting

Top 5 Bond Girls

  1. Tracy di Vicenzo (Diana Rigg) – On Her Majesty’s Secret Service
  2. Xenia Onatopp (Famke Janssen) - GoldenEye
  3. Vesper Lynd (Eva Green) – Casino Royale
  4. Melina Havelock (Carole Bouquet) – For Your Eyes Only
  5. Tatiana Romanova (Daniela Bianchi) – From Russia With Love
Top 5 Villains

  1. Le Chiffre (Mads Mikkelsen) – Casino Royale
  2. Rosa Klebb (Lotte Lenya) – From Russia With Love
  3. Hugo Drax (Michael Lonsdale) – Moonraker
  4. Auric Goldfinger (Gert Frobe) – Goldfinger
  5. Franz Sanchez (Robert Davi) – License To Kill

Top 5 Henchman

  1. Xenia Onatopp (Famke Janssen) – GoldenEye
  2. Red Grant (Robert Shaw) – From Russia With Love
  3. Jaws (Richard Kiel) – The Spy Who Loved Me & Moonraker
  4. Fiona Volpe (Lucianna Paluzzi) – Thunderball
  5. May Day (Grace Jones) – A View To A Kill

Worst 5 Bond Girls

  1. Rosie Carver (Gloria Hendry) – Live And Let Die
  2. Stacey Sutton (Tanya Roberts) – A View To A Kill
  3. Mary Goodnight (Brit Ekland – The Man With The Golden Gun
  4. Bibi Dahl (Lynn-Holly Johnson) – For Your Eyes Only
  5. Jinx (Halle Berry) – Die Another Day

Worst 5 Villains

  1. Gustav Graves/Colonel Moon (Toby Stevens) – Die Another Day
  2. Kamal Khan (Louis Jordan) – Octopussy
  3. Ernst Stavro Blofeld (Charles Gray iteration) – Diamonds Are Forever
  4. Brad Whitaker (Joe Don Baker) – The Living Daylights
  5. Elliot Carver (Jonathan Pryce) – Tomorrow Never Dies

Worst 5 Henchman

  1. Mr. Kil (Lawrence Makoare) – Die Another Day
  2. Gobinda (Kabir Bedi) – Octopussy
  3. Elvis (Anatole Taubman) – Quantum of Solace
  4. Zao (Rick Yune) – Die Another Day
  5. Nick Nack (Herve Villechaize) – The Man With The Golden Gun

Top 5 Songs

  1. “Nobody Does It Better” (Carly Simon) – The Spy Who Loved Me
  2. “Live and Let Die” (Wings) – Live and Let Die
  3. “Tomorrow Never Dies” (Sheryl Crow) – Tomorrow Never Dies
  4. “A View To A Kill” (Duran Duran) – A View To A Kill
  5. “You Only Live Twice” (Nancy Sinatra) – You Only Live Twice

Worst 5 Songs

  1. “Die Another Day” (Madonna) – Die Another Day
  2. “Three Blind Mice” – Dr. No
  3. “All Time High” (Rita Coolidge) – Octopussy
  4. “The Man With The Golden Gun” (Lulu) – The Man With The Golden Gun
  5. “Another Way to Die” (Jack White & Alicia Keys) – Quantum of Solace

Brandon Peters will return to RANK THE 007 FILMS!

Place your bets on what my order will be.  Or just try and guess.

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Todd Lyden said...

hard to take seriously when christmas jones isn't on a worst list somewhere...

Alison B said...

The ones they list are considerably worse, to me.

Andrew Donnachie said...

Agreed! Some of the others may have not been very good, but she actively ruined most of the scenes she was in.

Alison B said...

Excellent stuff, this actually seems like a really fairly worked out list! Any idea when your Goldeneye commentary will be up? I've been looking forward to that since you mentioned it with your From Russia With Love Commentary post.

Brandon Peters said...

I'm sorry that after watching 24 films and writing comprehensive essays on them, I can't be taken seriously. It probably means nothing at this juncture, but she did fall at #6 for my personal list.

Going through the entire franchise in a one by one marathon like this, I really saw things in a different scope. Denise Richards did stink, and I had an entire section on it in my The World Is Not Enough dissection, so i don't need to rehash. You're welcome to go and read it.

The characters listed completely deterred from my enjoyment during their screen time. Whether it be their character or their performance or how they decided to play said character, they bothered me more than Richards did. And I did really enjoy The World Is Not Enough, despite her. So, try her best, she didn't ruin the movie for me.

I much prefer her over someone who's butt sets off the self destruct sequence or the badass CIA double agent who's a 5 year old scardy cat at the sight of a dead snake.

William Windsor said...

I'm glad that "Another Way to Die" made the worst song list. It saddened me that this was the follow up to the amazing "You Know My Name." Very brave of you to not put Christmas Jones in the top 5. I think for most of us, either not seeing all of the films or just that the most recent ones fill our memory, Christmas and Jinx are certainly the most, unfortunately, remembered. Congrats on finishing this retrospective though, I'm sure many of the top five decisions were extremely difficult.

James O'Leary said...

Kudos all around!


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