Wednesday, January 13, 2010

If Batman Begins had ended like Sherlock Holmes...

Obviously, spoiler warning for Sherlock Holmes and Batman Begins...

Batman: Escalation?
Gordon: We start carrying semi-automatics, they buy automatics. We start wearing Kevlar, they buy armor-piercing rounds.
Batman: And?
Gordon: And *you're* wearing a mask and jumping off rooftops. Now, take this guy: armed robbery, double homicide. Got a taste for theatrical, like you. Leaves a calling card.
[Gordon presents Batman with a clear plastic evidence bag containing what appears to be a single playing card; Batman turns it over to reveal a 'joker']
Batman: I'll look into it.
Gordon: Oh, you'll do more than look into it. Word on the street is that he calls himself 'The Joker'.
Batman: The Joker? That sounds scary.
Gordon: He's one terrifying son of a bitch. Completely insane, face bleached white, hair bright green, with a blood-red grin from ear to ear.
Batman: Looks like a clown, eh?
Gordon: That's right, Batman. That's J-O-K-E-R.
Batman: Oh my God. I think I just wet my pants, Jim.
Gordon: Oh, you'll crap your pants when you first meet this diabolical foe. He's just as brilliant as you, but far more evil.
Batman: Well, I wouldn't exactly call myself evil, but I get your point.
Gordon: I hope you do, Batman. In fact, he's poisoning the Gotham water supply as we speak.
Batman: Wow... that IS evil! I hope he doesn't turn into my arch-nemesis or something.
Gordon: Be careful Batman. And don't you dare underestimate... The Joker!
Batman: Well, I think I can handle him, Jim. But... [Batman turns to face the screen, points his finger at the audience] can you?

The End.

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