First trailer for GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra...

This is the first extended look at the last real tent pole picture of summer 2009. The tone seems to be be serio-comic, as if the studio suits are afraid to spend $170 million on an action spectacle that takes itself too seriously. There are unbelievable stunts and action beats galore, with plenty of consequence-less free adventure (the Eiffel Tower's destruction is used for a cheap laugh). For example, in the final shot, as our fearless heroes dodge several missiles that are fired at them in a crowded city street, am I the only one wondering about the people that those missiles actually crash into?

Aside from the promise of a climactic ninja fight between Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow, the trailer seems to be pushing the hotness of Sienna Miller as The Baroness as one of its trump cards, which is not a promising sign. Granted, I dig 'hot chick glasses', but men do not go to see movies that otherwise don't catch their fancy because an attractive woman is in it. Oddly enough, they seem to be almost hiding poor Rachel Nicols, who plays Scarlett. We see maybe three shots of Dennis Quaid and maybe two of Marlon Wayans. For whatever reason, this is a film that seems to be scared of its own cast.

The action looks suitably over the top and frenzied, but there seems to be no attempt at dramatic heft (the GI Joe unit seems to have no problem with endangering civilians as they do battle). I'd imagine that the just-aired Cartoon Network movie GI Joe: Resistance will end up being darker and more violent than this $170 million+ adaptation. Hopefully it will be a bit less boring and stupid - ultra violence for the sake of ultra violence doesn't equal maturity if the dialogue is still more juvenile than the 1980s cartoon that we all grew up on.

Those 'power suits' look silly and pointless and would it have killed them to use the old logo font and/or a few bars of the theme song? Why not compose a hard-charging instrumental variation of the G.I. Joe theme song, with a full orchestra behind it? What's the point of cashing in on 1980s nostalgia if you aren't willing to use the tools at your disposal? Anyway, carping aside, the picture does look like the kind of brainless high-octane action that you'd expect from a GI Joe movie. Come what may, I rather liked director Stephen Summers's first two Mummy pictures, although I loathed Van Helsing as much as anyone else. I'm sincerely hoping that this will be a perfectly moronic but acceptably entertaining way to blow $6.00 on the morning of August 7th before heading into work. We'll see...

Scott Mendelson