Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Thanks to dirty, stinking, good-for-nothing foreigners, Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides becomes second-fastest movie to gross $800 million worldwide.

This is one problem for which you cannot blame America.  As of yesterday, Disney's Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides sailed past the $800 million mark in just over 3 weeks.  That's the second fastest such sprint, behind James Cameron's Avatar.  Sadly this means that the really lazy and really terrible sequel will likely cross the $1 billion mark, if not surpass Lord of the Rings: Return of the King ($1.119 billion) to become the biggest-grossing film not directed by James Cameron.  Since $614 million of that is from overseas grosses, just who is to blame?  Well, the biggest offenders are Japan ($62 million), Russia ($49 million), and Germany ($46 million), and the United Kingdom ($43 million).  Oh, and don't forget France!  I've long defended France's reputation, since the French people fought off the Nazis long after their government surrendered (and they were pretty right about that whole 'stay out of Vietnam and don't go into Iraq' stuff).  But those 'cheese-eating surrender monkeys' have surrendered $36 million to this soulless monstrosity so J'accuse!  But of course, I cannot ignore the biggest contributor.  With a contribution of $192 million thus far, the biggest worldwide offender for this particular film is... oh wait... damn.  Scratch that first sentence.

Scott Mendelson    

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