Pre-release tracking for The Muppets shows that today's kids are assholes.

The New York Magazine blog Vulture has an article detailing the box office tracking for the three major family-skewing Thanksgiving releases set to drop this Wednesday.  For the purposes of this commentary, we'll be focusing on the pre-release data for The Muppets (review).  It appears that we are raising a nation of Statler and Waldorfs... According to NRG research polls:

Weekend Box Office (07/31/11) part I: The Smurfs, Cowboys and Aliens do battle,tying with $36.2 million, while Stupid Crazy Love opens with $19.2 million.

This weekend is an excellent example of why it's the numbers, not the rankings that matter when discussing box office.  And, more importantly, the context of the numbers must be taken into account as well as the hard figures.  As of this moment, The Smurfs and Cowboys & Aliens are battling for the top slot at this weekend's box office, with both films hovering at $36.2 million.  One cost $110 million while the other cost $165 million.  One has strong foreign prospects and a guarantee of eternal life as a family DVD purchase/rental, while the other faces an uncertain future as it belongs to a distinctly American genre.  Point being, The Smurfs can take solace that it somewhat over-performed this weekend, while the Jon Favreau genre mash-up may go down as one of the bigger whiffs of the summer season.

The Smurfs gets a smurf-smurf second trailer. Yes, it still looks like a mother-smurfing piece of rotten smurf.

This still looks smurfing terrible, and I have nothing but pity for Jayma Mays who surely deserves better than this.  Sadly, there is a good chance that this will merely be her second or third worst movie, as she actually was the lead in Epic Movie and the token love interest in Paul Blart: Mall Cop.  She has a small supporting role on Glee, of course, but I suppose she's still in the position of having to take whatever is offered to her.  Neil Patrick Harris has no excuse.  He has a starring role in How I Met Your Mother and hosts any number of awards shows in any given year.  Ironically, the film actually looks somewhat fun for the first 1/2 minute or so, until it leaves the Smurf Village landscape and plops our blue heroes on boring old Earth.  Yes, it's Masters of the Universe all over again.  Still, come what may, Allison wants to see this one.  It opens July 29th, which actually operates as a test of sorts.  Are you a man (Cowboys and Aliens), are you a woman (Stupid, Crazy Love), or are you a parent (The Smurfs)?  On second thought, stereotypical gender assignments aside, why are all three of these potentially breakout movies opening on the same weekend anyway?  Anyway, hopefully Allison will enjoy herself and maybe I can trick her into watching Spirited Away later.  Oh, the things I do that for that smurfing little brat...

Scott Mendelson