As the ire rises (pun damn-well intended!) among the rabid faithful and the man who runs Warner Bros, hundreds, if not thousands are awaiting the final decision with arguably more concern than tonight's Republican caucuses in Iowa (because, let's be honest, no matter who wins tonight, the GOP nominee is going to be Mitt Romney come July) allow me to offer a most modest proposal. No, I'm not saying Bane should eat babies, although it does bring up a question left unanswered by the exposition-filled prologue: If taking off the mask causes incredible pain, how does Bane eat? Or drink? Or brush his teeth before and after meals?
No, the proposal most moderate is simply this: Come July 20th, consumers will have the choice to see The Dark Knight Rises in three formats. They can watch it in Nolan's approved 35mm version, the equally director-approved IMAX Experience, or an alternate 35mm "I'd Like to Be Able to Hear What the Hell the Primary Antagonist Is Saying! Is That Really Too Much To Ask?!" edition. Viewers opting for this version will be able to hear a clean, articulate, correctly seperated sound-mix that does not sound like a first-generation Warner Bros DVD. Heck, if the May/June summer blockbusters disappoint, there might even be room in theaters for a fourth option, which presents the film as Nolan intended, but with subtitles complete with bouncing bats whenever Bane and/or McGruff the Crime Bat speaks.
What do you think, dear readers? Should audiences be able to actually understand important plot exposition and conversational dialogue from the main supporting character in the film, or is the fact that the characters in the film can here Bane good enough for you? Sound off below!
Scott Mendelson
