With Skyfall dropping in theaters in just a few weeks, along with the 50th anniversary of the James Bond series, a close friend and fellow film nerd, Brandon Peters, has generously offered to do a comprehensive review of the entire 007 film franchise. Today is the twentieth entry, with a full review of one of the worst films in the franchise, Die Another Day. I hope you enjoy what is a pretty massive feature leading up the November 9th release of Skyfall. I'll do my best to leave my two-cents out of it. But just because I'm stepping aside doesn't mean you should. Without further ado...
Die Another Day
2002
Director: Lee Tamahori
Starring: Pierce Brosnan, Halle Berry, Rosamund Pike, Toby
Stephens, Rick Yune, Judi Dench, John Cleese
PG-13
I’m Mr. Kil
~Mr. Kil
Okay, so I’m starting a little early, but I have to mention
this. This moment is so horrible. Bond gets out of his car and this big goon by
the side of the road just awkwardly and out of place says this to him. FOR NO REASON. Bond doesn’t acknowledge the guy or
anything. Its almost very “I like
turtles” variety. And seriously? Mr. Kil?
That’s like calling Oddjob ‘Mr. Hat’.
Or Red Grant “Blonde Strong”. Or
calling Jaws…uh…oh…well…”Giant Metal Mouth Biting Man”.
STATS
Kills: 16
Bond Girls: Jinx,
Miranda Frost
Cars: Aston Martin
Vanquish
Locales: North Korea,
Cuba, Iceland
Odd Villain Trait:
Zao has the side of his face embedded with diamonds
Song: “Die Another
Day” performed by Madonna
Ridiculous. If I were
to describe Die Another Day with just
one word, that’s what I would choose.
Bond’s 20th film, released on his 40th anniversary
features poor direction, performance and much absurdity with an overabundance
of call backs (some obvious and some very Where’s Waldo-ish). Like the other long tenured Bonds, Roger
Moore and Sean Connery, before him, Pierce Brosnan bows out on an obvious sub
par entry and one of the worst films of the series. Funny, both Pierce and Sean left off with
diamond related satellite-laser beam plots by madmen who are having DNA
reconstruction done to change faces.
