Brandon Peters dissects the 007 series part 20: Die Another Day.

With Skyfall dropping in theaters in just a few weeks, along with the 50th anniversary of the James Bond series, a close friend and fellow film nerd, Brandon Peters, has generously offered to do a comprehensive review of the entire 007 film franchise. Today is the twentieth entry, with a full review of one of the worst films in the franchise, Die Another Day. I hope you enjoy what is a pretty massive feature leading up the November 9th release of Skyfall. I'll do my best to leave my two-cents out of it. But just because I'm stepping aside doesn't mean you should. Without further ado...

Die Another Day

2002

Director: Lee Tamahori

Starring: Pierce Brosnan, Halle Berry, Rosamund Pike, Toby Stephens, Rick Yune, Judi Dench, John Cleese

PG-13

I’m Mr. Kil

                        ~Mr. Kil

Okay, so I’m starting a little early, but I have to mention this.  This moment is so horrible.  Bond gets out of his car and this big goon by the side of the road just awkwardly and out of place says this to him.  FOR NO REASON.  Bond doesn’t acknowledge the guy or anything.  Its almost very “I like turtles” variety.  And seriously?  Mr. Kil?  That’s like calling Oddjob ‘Mr. Hat’.  Or Red Grant “Blonde Strong”.  Or calling Jaws…uh…oh…well…”Giant Metal Mouth Biting Man”. 

STATS

Kills:  16

Bond Girls:  Jinx, Miranda Frost

Cars:  Aston Martin Vanquish

Locales:  North Korea, Cuba, Iceland

Odd Villain Trait:  Zao has the side of his face embedded with diamonds

Song:  “Die Another Day” performed by Madonna

Ridiculous.  If I were to describe Die Another Day with just one word, that’s what I would choose.  Bond’s 20^th film, released on his 40^th anniversary features poor direction, performance and much absurdity with an overabundance of call backs (some obvious and some very Where’s Waldo-ish).  Like the other long tenured Bonds, Roger Moore and Sean Connery, before him, Pierce Brosnan bows out on an obvious sub par entry and one of the worst films of the series.  Funny, both Pierce and Sean left off with diamond related satellite-laser beam plots by madmen who are having DNA reconstruction done to change faces.

The forgotten classic among 007 theme songs...

I've generally stayed out of the James Bond waters of late for pretty obvious reasons.  But as a result of Adele's Skyfall being released, I went back and listened to the previous 007 theme songs, paying extra attention to the post-GoldenEye tunes that I have perhaps only listened to once or twice.  First of all, I take back every vaguely defensive thing I ever said about Madonna's "Die Another Day".  The tuneless, joyless disco chore is every bit as awful as the pundits claimed ten years ago, so mea culpa.  But the next one on the list was Chris Cornell's "You Know My Name" from Casino Royale.  I had only heard the song perhaps once, when I saw the film in theaters six years ago (confession: when I watch the 007 films at home, I usually skip the credit sequences as they do nothing for me and of course are completely disconnected to the  narrative).  So imagine my surprise as I discovered, six years late perhaps, what a rather terrific and catchy kick-ass rock tune Cornell's ditty actually is.  It's firmly in the vein of hard-rock "being a spy is *hard!* tunes from The Living Daylights and A View To A Kill (and arguably Live and Let Die).  It's also the catchiest tune since Duran Duran's "Dance Into the Fire" and stands alongside that camp classic as one of the best pure rock-n-roll songs in the Bond universe.  Anyway, if you haven't listened to it in awhile, sample above.  And consider this a second mea culpa, for not realizing how good this theme was all those years.

Scott Mendelson