The 2nd Transformers 2 trailer... wow.

Once again I am amazed at the sheer scope, size, and scale of this one. What I'm sincerely hoping for is that Transformers 2 plays like a dark, brutal, hard-as-PG-13 can be giant monster movie where the monsters happen to be giant transforming robots. And since we're dealing with the Godzilla/Gamera genre, some silly humor is allowed. What makes me love the clips (as someone who loathed the original) is that the robot destruction looks genuinely intense and scary. Buildings are blowing up, helicopters are being knocked out the sky, and people, innocent bystanders including, are seemingly dying by the scores. And is it just me, or are the trailers implying that a major character is going to die at the halfway mark?* This may be the epic, globe-spanning horror show (what would happen if giant robots came to Earth and began slaughtering people?) that the first one lacked the nerve to be. If Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen can take itself seriously and make me scared of the evil robots, than it will work splendidly. I'm cautiously optimistic.

Scott Mendelson
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* Spoilers if correct - A friend of mine thinks the shocking mid-film death is Kevin Dunn (Sam's father). I'm wondering if they won't follow the 1986 animated movie and, if they dare, kill off Optomus Prime himself.

Review: Ghosts of Girlfriends Past (2009)

Ghosts Of Girlfriends Past
2009
100 minutes
Rated PG-13

by Scott Mendelson

Ghosts of Girlfriends Past is a relatively okay movie, even while at its core it's pretty unremarkable. It is well acted and stylishly shot, with a brisk pace that only lags just a bit in the middle act. But it is at heart a simplistic story that purports that most people who make the choice to not have a conventional life (marriage, kids, two-car garage) are motivated not by personal choice but by deep-seated emotional scars. That may be the case for some, but couldn't we at least once have a film about a confirmed bachelor who gets to remain a bachelor by the film's climax, even if he has to become a somewhat better person?

The plot, in brief - Conner Meed (Matthew McConaughy) is a big-time fashion photographer and a full-time lothario. With a somewhat cartoonish love-em and leave-em philosophy, he embarks to his brother's wedding not with joy but merely family obligation. After arriving and making an ass out of himself in front of his family, the bride's family, and his childhood sweetheart (Jennifer Garner), he is visited by the ghost of his uncle (Michael Douglas) who advises him that he must change his promiscuous ways or risk being alone forever. What follows is a textbook variation on Charles Dickens's A Christmas Carol, as Conner is visited by three ghosts representing relationships past, present, and future. As expected, childhood trauma is revealed, secret motivations and fears are uncovered, and Conner realizes that he is controlled not by his libido but by his fears.

On the surface level, the film more or less works. Everyone in the cast is game and the film looks lovely. What's most impressive is the fact that the women in the film are actually allowed to be funny. As Dr. Jenny Perotti, Jennifer Garner is not just 'the childhood sweetheart who Conner pushed away', but a completely charming and humorous character of her own accord. In fact, it is a flaw of the film that she seems too smart and world-weary to still have feelings for the dope who cruelly left her, and her exceptional chemistry with another bachelor at the wedding (Daniel Sunjata) doesn't help the movie's grand schemes. Lacey Chambert's blushing bride is relatively amusing, with the amount of Bridezilla moments kept to a bare and reasonable minimum. In what could have been a stock role, Noureen DeWolf gives Conner's thankless secretary a sharp personality and a no-bullshit demeanor (it helps that she's arguably the only woman in the film not drawn to the cad). Emma Stone gets laughs as the 'past-tense ghost', the sixteen-year old nerd who was Conner's first conquest. Best of all is Anne Archer as the mother of the bride, who gets one of the film's best scenes during a warm flirtation moment with McConaughy. Unlike many comedies, the women actually get just as many funny lines and just as much personality as the men.

Also helping things is the low-key nature of the plot. With the exception of one painfully contrived scene involving a wedding cake, the film avoids over-the-top set pieces and pratfalls. Even the climax of the film refuses to take place at an interrupted wedding or an airport, but in a location irrelevant to the situation at hand. And said climax involves not a public confessional but a quiet conversation that is witnessed by only a few others. Furthermore, the relationship between Conner and his brother (Breckin Myer) is surprisingly thought-out, and a moment of Paul defending his older brother is the emotional highlight of the film. The supporting cast, from Robert Forster to Michael Douglas, seem to be trying their best to make this a real movie. And they pretty much succeed despite the formulaic narrative at play. It helps to have a real director, and Mark Waters (he of Mean Girls, the best movie ever made about high school girls) once again elicits terrific performances to help somewhat redeem a stock romantic comedy (re - Just Like Heaven).

But in the end, it is just another story about a ladies-man learning that having tons of consensual sex with willing partners is a huge character flaw and a sign of darker personal demons. We're once again told that women aren't smart enough to know when they are just rolling in the hay with an obvious playboy, thus Conner is responsible for countless heartbreaks and tears. And once again we're led to believe that a guy would have been happy forever more if he had just married his preschool sweetheart right from the get-go (sure plenty of happy couples met that early, but must that be the finale to so many romantic comedies?). It's something that's long bugged me about romantic comedies, but at least this is a relatively entertaining variation on that old hat moral.

Ghosts of Girlfriends Past is a surprisingly entertaining presentation of a sour package. But if you know what you're getting into, it's funny and well-acted, with equal laughs for the actors and actresses both. While I wish that McConaughy would do more varied work in the vein of Frailty, Sahara, and Lone Star, but this is a fine romantic comedy and is certainly a step up from Fool's Gold.

Grade: B-

Review: X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009)

X-Men Origins: Wolverine
2009
107 minutes
Rated PG-13

by Scott Mendelson

X-Men Origins: Wolverine is a film that has no particular reason for existing. It tells the background story behind a major character from the X-Men film franchise. But Wolverine was the lead character of said films, and we’ve already learned everything we need to know from the films in said franchise (like The Powerpuff Girls Movie, it is a feature length variation of an origin story that we already knew). And the extra information given here actually serves to make the character of Logan/Wolverine less interesting. It’s not necessarily that a character like Wolverine is better when his past is left a mystery, so much of that past that is revealed here is so astoundingly conventional, uncompelling, and completely cliché. In a time when even bad comic book films like The Spirit have a certain ‘are you kidding me?’ nerve, Wolverine is shocking in its adherence to formula and lack of imagination.

A token amount of plot: Born with mutant powers that consisted of healing abilities, unnaturally slow aging, and the ability to pop boney claws out of his hands, the man who would be Wolverine finds himself at home on one war-torn killing field after another, along with his friend and apparent brother Victor Creed/Sabretooth (a slumming Liv Shreiber, who does so little with the role that they should have just rehired Tyler Mane). After they are captured and unsuccessfully executed during the Vietnam War, they are both recruited into a super secret black-ops program known as Weapon X. Led by the mysterious William Stryker (Danny Huston, as the man who would be Brian Cox in X2: X-Men United), this band of super powered assassins proves too much for Logan, and he quits after Creed murders innocent civilians in an operation. Six years later, Stryker tracks down Logan with the information that someone is apparently murdering members of his old team. But before you can say Commando, the insidious plot hits close to home, shattering Logan’s world and putting him on a course to become the steel-clawed superhero we know and love.

The resulting film is every bit as predictable and dull as the information imparted above. The entire film is a muted, oddly lifeless affair. Without knowledge of the behind the scenes struggles between Fox and director Gavin Hood, I cannot say who is truly to blame. But the filmmakers seem to be under the impression that ‘dark and moody’ means visually gray and woodenly acted. Hugh Jackman does what he can with the character that he so obviously adores, but the bland, expository dialogue and routine storytelling leave him adrift. For all the blather about presenting a darker, more animalistic Wolverine, Logan is still the conflicted but generally morally sound do-gooder that he is in the X-Men pictures. Actually, within his element, he’s actually far less menacing than he was in the first X-Men, where he theoretically posed a genuine threat to the children of Xavier’s institute. He may occasionally kill his opponents, especially while at war, but he is friendly to kind-hearted older people and is no threat unless attacked first. In the end, the legendary Logan is rendered no more savage or dangerous than Jason Statham on a bad day.

That brings up another issue, which is the lack of memorable action set pieces. While the X-Men pictures were not legendary action-fests, they were rooted in quality storytelling and character-driven drama. Since those components are so lacking here, it would be up to the fights and chases to merit actually viewing this picture. But there are really only two even competent set-pieces. The first-act black-ops take down resembles a deleted scene from Spawn. The only action scenes of note are the climax and a mid-film chase involving a motorcycle against several hummers and helicopters. But, alas, every single gag in the mid-film chase has been revealed in the trailers. The already short running time is padded with several fights between Wolverine and fan-favorite cameos. Did anyone really want to see Logan boxing Blob? As for Gambit, he barely appears and exists only to appease the few and vocal. His fight scene with Logan is especially amusing, as it causes tons of property damage without comment, and because it quickly becomes a classic ‘neither of us want to lose, but the fans want to see us fight’ smack down, resulting in no real outcome and no story advancement (see The Forbidden Kingdom for another example).

So the action is more or less dull, the writing feels like a bad television pilot, and the acting is barely perfunctory. To make matters worse, a few would-be plot twists seem specifically designed to aggravate the very hardcore fans that would theoretically flock to this picture. The climax, for reasons that I won’t reveal, will absolutely infuriate devotees of a specific fan-favorite character (for comparison, imagine if, at the end of Spider-Man 3, Eddie Brock turned into The Vulture). A couple future X-Men make brief appearances, but their roles in the narrative ends up contradicting explicit X-Men continuity. The cameo that is revealed in the previews is especially odd, as Scott Summers finally gets a moment to shine, in a Wolverine spin-off of all things. This is of course ironic since Cyclops constantly had his story lines muted or stolen in the X-Men pictures by filmmakers who wanted to emphasize Wolverine at all costs.

Between Deadpool, Sabretooth, Gambit, Agent Zero, and Kestrel, 20^th Century Fox could have started a whole new Weapon X franchise. Alas, none of these characters are even remotely developed. Dominic Monaghan has a moment of bitterness and regret as a light-controlling mutant named 'Bolt', but he's brushed offscreen right before he gets interesting. None of the other c-level X-universe characters make any such impact, and nonfans will struggle to remember their names as the credits role. Ironically, this is as much of a franchise killer as Stephen Summer’s Van Helsing (which also starred Hugh Jackman), which wrecked the film making potential of the entire Universal monsters library for several years afterward.

It’s been awhile since such a major tent pole picture that felt so lifeless and ordinary. The plot and story are Mad Libs by the book. The writing is shockingly lazy with even the simplest details (certain supporting characters are rarely if ever referred to by their names, leaving the audience wondering who they are), and the action scenes vary between dreadfully dull, completely pointless, and utterly ridiculous. This film is the kind of bland and boring assembly line product that makes me appreciate the ambitious comic book films that I didn’t care for (Spider-Man 3, Superman Returns, The Spirit, etc) and it makes me a little less hostile toward the lousy comic book adventures that at least had a junky spark (think Ghost Rider or Judge Dredd). Tragically for all involved, X-Men Origins: Wolverine is the worst major comic book adaptation since Catwoman.

Grade: D

Batman's garage sale...

Batman Garage Sale with Adam West from Adam West

This is awfully funny, but it'll be especially poignant for Batman: The Animated Series fans who remember Adam West's voice work as Simon Trent aka The Grey Ghost.

Scott Mendelson

Kicking them while they're down, rooting for news (but not artistic failure)...

"In many ways, the work of a critic is easy. We risk very little yet enjoy a position over those who offer up their work and their selves to our judgment. We thrive on negative criticism, which is fun to write and to read."

There is a movie coming out this Friday that I have written quite a bit about over the last month. Some have taken my constant commentary on said movie, and the circumstances which surrounded the month prior to its release, as some kind of rooting interest in its artistic and financial failure. This is not the case. Although I will confess that I perhaps became, for a moment, the sort of media person that I often criticize. In that, I became aware that if X-Men Origins: Wolverine opened well this weekend, despite the leaked work print and despite the current flu scare, then there would be no story and there would be nothing to discuss. However, if the film underperformed over the weekend, it would be news.

"But the bitter truth we critics must face, is that in the grand scheme of things, the average piece of junk is probably more meaningful than our criticism designating it so."

It it opens at anything under $55 million, it will be seen as a true disappointment. It may be blamed on the availability of the rough cut, the bad word of mouth, the slowly forming bad buzz in the form of negative reviews, or, yes, the theoretical panic of swine flu (quick, what's the most memorable scene in Wolfgang Peterson's Outbreak?). But if it bombs it's news. If it does the 'normal' $70 million+ opening weekend, there will be nothing for us to talk about. So if I am guilty of subconsciously wanting the film to under perform, it is because such a thing would be news, and it will give me material to discuss on Monday night. So, yes, I'm guilty of being a film pundit who hoped for a situation in which there would be news. In those moments, I was no better than the political pundits who constantly try to turn every election into a horse race, because that would be more exciting to write about than a blow out. Regardless of how Wolverine opens this weekend, I will still write about it. But I will not take joy or sadness in whatever comes of it.

"But there are times when a critic truly risks something, and that is in the discovery and defense of the new. The world is often unkind to new talent, new creations, the new needs friends."

The main reason I'm writing this is to give some context to a review of the film, which is coming down the pike. It will be published very soon, depending on my work schedule. It is everything I feared.. And, frankly, at this point, it feels like any full-on negative review feels like kicking a sick puppy. The failure of this beleaguered project, after all that has transpired, brings nothing so much as pity for those involved. Contrary to popular belief, a film critic should take no joy in the failure of the art form which he or she covers. When a film fails, it is a cause for mourning, not celebration. Nothing would have made me happier than to be proven wrong. But, alas, I am not wrong. Not this time.

"Last night, I experienced something new, an extraordinary meal from a singularly unexpected source."

My review of Wolverine will be up soon. In the meantime, let me do my job as a film critic and point my readers along the path to some truly great somewhat-recent movies that have slipped through the cracks. Some are simply great movies that failed to find their audience, some are unfairly maligned gems that deserve a second look. All of them are better than X-Men Origins: Wolverine. All of them are examples of what makes this worthwhile.

Meet The Robinsons, Akeelah and the Bee, Frailty, Black Book, Nothing But The Truth, Shanghai Knights, Sixteen Blocks, Dark Water (the remake), Open Range, In America, Spirited Away, Joyride, Wet Hot American Summer, Sunshine, and the just released State of Play.

Scott Mendelson

Why I stopped watching Heroes...

Some choice blurbs from a Boston Herald review of tonight's season finale of Heroes...

"In the third-season finale of the NBC sci-fi drama, the good guys band together to take down villainous Sylar (Zachary Quinto). That was the premise of the first season finale. There are differences, of course. In the first season, the heroes united to stop Sylar from destroying the world. Now they want to prevent him from meeting the president."

And my favorite tidbit...

"When two of our power players finally catch up to Sylar, there’s an epic battle. Viewers won’t see a second of it. It takes place behind closed doors."

Ah yes, sounds like the show hasn't changed a bit. I'm sure 24 will be great tonight, with its consistent character development, vaguely differing story lines, and its, I dunno, onscreen action.

Scott Mendelson

James Cameron's Avatar... it's still only a movie.

Here is an interesting and relatively spoiler-free look at Jame Cameron's Avatar. I've avoided most articles on this one, although it was awfully nice of Michelle Rodriguez to drop a massive spoiler during her otherwise unrelated press junket for Fast & Furious. Other than that, I know next to nothing and the cryptic little bits and pieces are fascinating.

I sincerely doubt that the movie will be as revolutionary as the article implies or hopes. The piece by Michael Cieply makes the picture seem like a new kind of mind-altering drug. I sincerely doubt that it will completely change the landscape of movie going for all time. I recall pundits saying similar things about The Matrix Reloaded. In the end, that anticipated sequel was only a movie, a thoughtful, vastly underrated and misunderstood science fiction film, but just a movie none the less. Whether or not this revolutionizes movies and becomes the next-generation equivalent of The Jazz Singer, or whether it's just a terrific science fiction adventure picture, Cameron doesn't do anything half-assed, and he has yet to make an even remotely mediocre film since breaking out with The Terminator in 1984.

Anyway, don't believe anyone who tells you that this film is any real threat to the $1.8 billion worldwide total that Cameron set over eleven years ago. Titanic, which opened on the same date - December 18th - that Avatar will open, was an anomaly. The factors that were at play are unlikely to be repeated again. Much like how television viewing habits have changed to the point that nothing will ever top the ratings for the MASH series finale, the movie going experience no longer has a place for major films that run nonstop for months on end.

And don't believe any of the hand-wringing that goes on while discussing the film's sure to be monstrous budget. James Cameron has broken the record for the most expensive movie of all time each of the last four times he's made a film. The Abyss cost about $80 million, Terminator 2: Judgment Day cost $100 million, True Lies cost $125 million, and Titanic ended up costing $200 million. And, with the exception of The Abyss, each film has been a major short term profit machine, and I'm guessing The Abyss has long made its money back over the last twenty years. Come what may, Cameron has earned the benefit of the doubt to spend what he wants, as he always delivers the goods.

Avatar - the next evolutionary step of movies, merely a top-notch adventure film, or the science fiction equivalent of Eyes Wide Shut? We'll see.

Scott Mendelson

Is Obssessed sexist and racist? Once again, a genre film targeting minorities is deemed offensive for said minority group...

I was reluctant to get into this because I haven't seen Obsessed (which, as I correctly predicted, is going to do nearly $30 million this weekend), but the wolves are already out in force at Hollywood Elsewhere, Deadline Hollywood, and elsewhere.

Whenever any genre film comes out that doesn't revolve around white geeks or white action heroes, everyone gets up in arms about how the film is somehow racist/sexist/bad for the specific demographic that it's targeting. White men and overgrown boys can have their trashy exploitation jollies as much as they want. But as soon as women or a minority group is given their own somewhat trashy entertainment, it's suddenly a problem for culture at large.

For what it's worth, I've been told that the issue of race is never actually discussed in the film, so it very well may be an example of colorblind storytelling. Of course, regardless of what's discussed in the film, I think we can presume that any film that has the working title of 'Oh No She Didn't' probably has a specific racial audience in mind (unless that catchphrase has itself transcended race, but I digress).

But let's presume that the film has racial politics on its mind. Is Obsessed a thriller that specifically exploits genuine resentment that some African American women feel when some of the more suitable black bachelors end up with white women? Quite possibly. That's why they are called 'exploitation films'. Would it be better if the film didn't have any particular social issue at its core? Maybe it would be less 'offensive', but it would also be an empty, hollow film that had nothing going on underneath the thriller mechanics. Regardless of whether it's a good film, shouldn't we be pleased that this mainstream thriller is actually about something?

I wrote about this at length when Sex and the City came out and pundits and critics were declaring that the film was somehow a 'Taliban recruitment film'. or 'the equivalent of the OJ Simpson verdict for women'. So it's OK for men in indulge in power fantasies like Iron Man, but Sex and the City is bad for women and Obsessed is bad for black women? Obsessed could very well be a piece of garbage. But it shouldn't be deemed smellier than the norm purely because it's aimed at African Americans. Real racial/sexual progress will come in Hollywood once other demographics are allowed to enjoy their own trash and exploitation genre pictures in peace without being scolded by moralists both within and outside said culture.

Scott Mendelson

H2 (Rob Zombie's Halloween 2) trailer...

I more or less loathed the first Rob Zombie Halloween picture, and while this one doesn't seem much better, the trailer certainly feels different. I am intrigued by Zombie's comments a month ago about how the sequel would deal with how a young woman would realistically react to a mad slasher killing her parents and all of her friends in a single night, so we'll see. Either way, trailers get lots of hits so enjoy.

Scott Mendelson

Obsessed = Tyler Perry's Fatal Attraction?

For the record, the title joke comes from a friend of a friend named Brian Lynch (credit where credit is due). The reason I bring it up is because I'm wondering if Obsessed is yet another well-marketed film involving African American actors that is going to shock... SHOCK the pundits by grossing over $25 million this weekend. Just like pretty much every Tyler Perry film is a SHOCKING surprise at the box office? We'll know tomorrow, but I'm thinking the $17 million predictions are a little on the light side. Beyonce Knowles is a major star, and Idris Elba has been making his way through the ranks for awhile (and of course, he starred in Tyler Perry's Daddy's Little Girls back in 2007). Toss in the plastering of the poster on every inch of every wall in LA, along with the simple and easy to explain premise, and this looks like a not so surprising surprise hit.

Scott Mendelson