Anthing Chris Nolan can do, Michael Bay can do better?

In the realm of not-very surprising news, Michael Bay has announced his intention to shoot several scenes for Transformers 2: Revenge Of The Fallen in IMAX film. For some reason, I didn't mention this possibility in my Iron Man 2 IMAX 3D article earlier this month, but the rock-sock-em robots sequel did seem the next likely tent pole film to go this route. And frankly, Transformers 2 could be even more tailor-made for this process than The Dark Knight. Even as someone who hated Transformers and loved The Dark Knight, I must concede that the technical aspects of Transformers were beyond compare. The robots were basically supporting characters in their own movie, and there wasn't nearly enough robot action to balance out the campy, cliched character arcs and tone-deaf comedy, but the rare out-and-out robot smackdowns were truly impressive. This is the exact opposite case of The Dark Knight. Does anyone really have a favorite action sequence in that film? Did anyone come out of the theater blathering about 'that one scene where Batman went to Hong Kong, jumped off a building, punched out five guys, and escaped on a zip line'?

People loved the story, loved the characters, and loved the acting. But the choppy actions scenes, while less Paul Greengrass-y than Batman Begins, were no one's highlight. And, truthfully, they were rendered even harder to follow on a giant IMAX screen (Nolan probably sensed this, as he had Morgan Freeman basically narrate the climactic construction site brawl). Actually, has any Batman film ever contained a truly stunning action sequence? Transformers, on the other hand, is all about empty spectacle, so the giant screen format will be a huge bonus. Frankly, I'm surprised that Bay isn't going for 3D this time to boot. I'd imagine that the CGI robotics would be much easier to convert to 3D than the practical car chases and explosions of The Dark Knight (I'll let someone else discuss the added incentive for the core audience seeing Megan Fox in 3D). Furthermore, Paramount's main summer competition, Harry Potter And The Half-Blood Prince, has already announced that its climax will be in 3D yet again.

Regardless, it will be interesting to see how the two biggest movies of the summer will split IMAX screens, as they will open less than a month apart. If Paramount really wants long-term playability, then maybe they ought to consider moving up the release date. I'd imagine that Transformers 2 would threaten the three-day opening weekend record no matter when in summer it opened, so maybe an early June berth might be in order. This does bring up an interesting problem. As more and more event films decide to go the IMAX route (and make no mistake, Nolan has opened the floodgates), how will the limited number of IMAX screens deal with competing product when this because the norm for tent pole films?

Scott Mendelson

Sex and the City (the movie) and the difference between male and female escapism.

I would love to get on a high horse and proclaim that Sex And The City: The Movie is a terrific movie and that the critics who hated it were misogynist pigs. Some of them may be, but it's still a mediocre movie. The first hour is pretty dreadful, a peon to crass consumerism and shallowness that's especially icky during a time of prolonged economic suffering. I can't speak for the show, but the movie contains not a single homeless person or working stiff. Once the emotional plot comes fully center, the film slightly improves. But the writing just isn't as sharp as the best episodes of the series (I've seen a few, my wife's seen a bunch) and the characters feel thinner. The film is 151 minutes long, but there is less plot than The X-Files: I Want To Believe. But, at its core, it suffers from the same problem as many romantic dramas and comedies. Without going into spoilers, the film's plot catalyst never would have occurred if the main characters just talked to each other like adults for three minutes. Furthermore, the conflict could have been resolved right on the spot with another thirty-seconds of straight communication, explaining how last minute jitters and a child's mistake led to disaster (sorry for the vagueness, no reason to spoil something that occurs an hour into the movie). So the film suffers due to the idiot plot, as do many other movies. And the romantic partners refuse to talk to each other like adults, but that seems to be the case for most romantic comedies (and most relationships in the entertainment world to boot). That doesn't explain the outcry of outrage that occurred following the opening day and opening weekend.

Chocolate-magnate Wonka arrested for murder!

Chocolate-magnate Wonka arrested for murder

Willam Wonka to face charges after four children, one adult die in chocolate-factory massacre.

by Scott Mendelson

World-renowned candy-bar maker and multi-trillionaire William J. Wonka was arrested yesterday evening after four young children perished while touring Wonka’s top-secret chocolate factory.

Authorities are still trying to piece together the details of the gruesome affair but so far there are confirmed reports of five fatalities. The dead children, Augustus Gloup, Violet Beauregarde, Mike Teavee, and Veruca Salt, are reported to be the young winners in the worldwide Golden Ticket contest, which awarded an exclusive tour of William Wonka’s base of operations to five lucky children who discovered golden tickets hidden in Wonka chocolate bars. One adult, Mr. Salt, is also presumed dead. A fifth winner, Charles Bucket, is said to be alive and unharmed.

“It would seem,” stated Chief Steven Helemson, “that Mr. Wonka lured these innocent children into his factory with a promise of a tour and a life-time supply of chocolate, than viciously murdered them in various bizarre and unspeakable methods.” The police believe that the deaths were in fact premeditated, as the various transportation vehicles seemed to actually decrease in seat space as the tour went on, indicating that Wonka planned on progressively thinning the herd.

The mother of Augustus Gloup, one of the slain, has stated that she herself witnessed her son’s tragic drowning in a raging river of chocolate.

“I asked Mr. Wonka to stop my son from heading into the marshmallow room. But, Wonka insisted that he was instead heading for the fudge room. I then replied that he was in fact a ‘terrible man’, to which he simply laughed.” Gloup’s gooey carcass was found floating along the river after police arrived.

Further examination of the carnage unearthed a giant puddle of blueberry goo, mixed in with brain matter, bones, and various organs, which is believed to be the remains of Violet Beauregarde. According to witnesses, Ms. Beauregarde was tricked into eating a poisonous gum-substance, which caused her to turn into a giant blueberry and eventually explode.

A third victim, Michael Teavee, was alleged to have been shrunk to the size of an action figure and then sucked into a TV set, where he is likely being constantly tortured and defiled by the “TV people” who are upset about the factory being buried on an ancient Indian burial site.

“They moved the headstones,” claimed an employee at the factory, one of several dozen ‘Oompa Loompas’, “but they didn’t move the bodies.” Oompa Loompas are tiny, orange-faced midget creatures that often talk in rhyme that may or may not be Wonka’s slaves. Most expressed sympathy with their master.

“Oompa Loompa doompadee doo,” exclaimed one distraught Loompa. “I’ve got another puzzle for you. Ommpa Loompa doompadee doo, if you’re wise you’ll listen to me.” The Loompa then proceeded to spew rhyming profanities (which are unsuitable for print) and claim that there was no life they knew that was not completely expendable in their quest to build a perfect chocolate factory. They threatened various authorities with acts of violence that were horrific beyond any world of pure imagination and thus also unsuitable for print.

The fate of the final casualty remains sketchy, with reports claiming that Veruca Salt and her father may have both plummeted to their deaths after being pushed down a chute designated for golden eggs. Although no bodies have been found, all accounts do report, however, that she was a “very bad egg.”

“Mr. Wonka is a sick, diseased maniac,” claimed an un-named executive of the rival candy corporation, Slugworth. “The golden tickets promised that ‘In your wildest dreams you could not imagine the marvelous surprises that await you’. Instead, the tickets brought a violent, surreal, ironic demise to four out of five of these innocent children.”

Wonka has claimed that each of the victims in fact caused their own horrible fates by breaking the rules and thus bear complete responsibility. According to the jailed Wonka, the contracts that were signed dictated that any violation of the rules and regulations ‘and et cetera, et cetera... Fax mentis incendium gloria cultum, et cetera, et cetera... Memo bis punitor delicatum’ would result in immediate execution.

“It’s all there in black and white, clear as crystal,” Wonka has claimed. “You can read it for yourself in this photostatic copy: ‘you mess with my factory, I will totally f^&%ing kill you!”

Wow... a Spirit trailer that's actually comprehensible!

It took them three tries (and the teaser made people think it was a Dick Tracy sequel), but here is a trailer for The Spirit that actually has a semblance of plot and character, as opposed to just random hot women tossing off their best 'come-hither' lines. Sam Jackson is in geek heaven and the trailer finally acknowledges that Frank Miller didn't actually create The Spirit (Will Eisner did). Am I the only one amused that this is the second time in a less than two years, after Ghost Rider, that Eva Mendes has played the former childhood sweatheart of our tormented hero, who comes back at just the wrong time? It's an improvement, but considering how thin and junky I found Sin City to be, I'm not terribly optimistic.

The original teaser:


The hot-to-trot first trailer:

SNL does Palin/Couric and the Debates, plus MadTV does a Palin townhall

Whatever will the Saturday night sketch shows do once the election ends?

SNL - Palin/Couric sketch:


SNL - Obama/McCain sketch:


Mad TV - Palin Town Hall sketch:


Scott Mendelson

Paul Newman has died of cancer at 83

Condolences to friends and family. If there is a need to update, I will do so as more comes in. Here is the article.

Scott Mendelson

Pointless Pet Peeve Of The Day - Crappy cover art for Blu Ray and 2-disc DVDs

In the realm of things that really don't matter, I've noticed an obnoxious trend of late in the home video market.

In the olden days of standard and special edition DVDs, the pattern was simple. For the one-disc bare bones disc, you often had substandard cover art meant to appeal to mass audiences, usually emphasizing either generic elements of the story or a main set piece that people remember enjoying in theaters.

But for the two-disc collector's set, and the BluRay, you got a snazzy replication of the actual poster from the movie itself.

Or, worst case scenario, you got the same image with a token mention that one of them is a two-disc collector's set.

But, of late, the studios seem to be going the opposite route. Let's look at four recent summer releases. The one-disc set for Iron Man (streets next Tuesday) feature the poster art, which highlights the entire cast.

However, for the two-disc set and BluRay, we have simply a stylized, artless picture of the Iron Man suit, something that resembles the start menu for a computer game. If I'm paying extra for the more expensive version, I'd also like the original poster art to go with it.

Let's have a look at the just released art for the not nearly as bad as you've heard Star Wars: The Clone Wars, which Warner Bros will street in 1-disc, 2-disc, and Blu Ray versions in November. The standard one-disc set features the poster art, with the main cast in a moody, dimly lit battle-ready pose, suggesting drama, darkness, and turmoil. It's a decent enough poster.

Yet, for the two-disc and Blu Ray, we get a big brightly lit picture of just Anakin Skywalker, looking like he was posing for Tiger Beat. This is pretty terrible art regardless, but why punish consumers who opt for the more expensive option?

Next up is Get Smart, Warner again, which streets on December 4th in 1-disc, 2-disc, and BluRay versions (all three promising 62% more laughs - so that's 4 more laughs?). As you'll notice, the one-disc set gives us profiles of all four of the main stars, which is appropriate since Get Smart was a true ensemble piece that coasted along on the talent and goodwill of its cast.

Yet the 2-disc and Blu Ray version crops out Alan Arkin and Dwayne Johnson, leaving us with only Steve Carell and Anne Hathaway. Not a huge deal, but again it seems a case where the more expensive version should have included the original poster art.

Finally, and this is the one that prompted me to write this, we have the covers for Sony's Hancock, which will street in November on 1 d... you get the idea. Anyway, the one-disc theatrical cut contains the poster art.

Yet the two-disc and BluRay extended edition displays $25 photo shopping that not only is ugly and displeasing to look at, but actually constitutes a mild spoiler. I gave Sony major props last summer for actually running an ad campaign for Hancock that didn't reveal the whole movie in the trailers and TV spots, so it's a shame that they had to go and hint at a major scene in the second act of the picture. And besides, if you're going to give Charlize Theron billing above the title, you damn well oughta give the same courtesy to Jason Batemen, who basically stole the film with a warm, subtle, empathetic comic performance.

On the plus side, the just released UK cover art for The Dark Knight seems to be on the right track. The two-disc and Blu Ray sets will include the original poster art, plus the option for covers with Batman or The Joker (the exterior sleeve has Batman, while the case itself has the Joker poster). Of course, both Nolan Batman pictures had so many posters that they could easily do a dozen versions of each film and have a different theatrical one-sheet for each.

Again, not the end of the world, but it doesn't make sense that the studios are making a habit of giving lesser quality presentations to the versions of their discs that the more discerning consumer is likely to purchase. And frankly, I'm tired of having to contend with ugly artwork when I fork over money for the 'more special' version of a given DVD or Blu Ray.

Scott Mendelson

Update - darn it. Warner Bros. just released the US cover art for The Dark Knight, and it's exactly the kind of thing I was complaining about. The single disc version gets the official poster art. Meanwhile, the two-disc set gets the alternate, ugly poster art highlighting the 'way-cool' Bat-Pod. Aside from the fact that Batman is barely visible in the poster, it is easily the ugliest of the many posters, primarily because the center of attention is a giant wheel. How unfortunate.

Craig Ferguson once again sums it up best (You don't suspend democracy!)

"Not for 9/11, not for Pearl Harbor, not for the Nazis..."

Scott Mendelson

Valkyrie trailer debuts... now.

Here is the new trailer for Valkyrie, as promised. It's a well-cut piece, presented as a ticking clock of doom, and it gives the other major cast members (Kenneth Branagh, Terence Stamp, Bill Nighy, and Tom Wilkinson) their close up as well as Cruise. Of course, the overtly 'exciting scenes' of people quickly walking and randomly pointing guns seems to imply that it's far more of a cat and mouse thriller than an out-and-out action piece. So far, so good.

Oh, and here is a much older one (apparently November) that is equally compelling, this one highlighting the entire cast even more than the new trailer.


Scott Mendelson

Valkyrie poster debuts... now.

The trailer for Valkyrie goes online on Yahoo at 9:00pm tonight. Above is the final one-sheet. This is what I get for writing something nice about Valkyrie in my MPAA post yesterday. On a related note, I'm sure the Dark Knight Blu Ray will be extra swell and Quantum Of Solace will be the best Bond movie ever! In all seriousness, it's a pretty cool poster. It's surprisingly artsy, and I like the credits being put in the box on the left, although the partial swastika seems to resemble a giant number 1 or 7.

I always appreciate posters that show off the whole cast, not just the top-lined star (far too many Tom Cruise posters are just his giant face or his upper body in forward motion). It seems that MGM/UA is trying to sell this as a team movie, in the vein of (ah-ha!) The Usual Suspects and X-Men. If you'll notice, Tom Cruise's arms hanging wide pose is similar to Wolverine in several X-Men: The Last Stand posters (yes, it's ironic that they are using the marketing campaign from the X-Men picture that Bryan Singer did not direct). And, pleasant coincidence, there are six characters pictured, same as the six main good guys in the first X-Men (Xavier, Cyclops, Jean Grey, Wolverine, Storm, and Rogue). Whether this is an attempt to frame this film as a team caper picture, or whether UA is trying to downplay Tom Cruise for PR reasons, it's an effective poster none the less.

Scott Mendelson